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Beyond Anger Management

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People come to see me because they want help in understanding and managing their anger in their lives and relationships.

I provide an empathic relational approach to anger and rage, which means I work within a specialised theoretical framework and model known as empathic anger management and have had specialist training by Sue Parker Hall who developed and trained me to work competently in this way. I additionally have specialised supervision to enable me to support a person to develop and recover their natural ability to process their life experiences. I will engage you in a passionate and human relationship where all feelings, sensations, thoughts and images are welcomed. (Sue Parker Hall 2009)

I have provided anger management therapy for many people, whether they are male or female and helped them resolve therapeutically their anger and rage issues. There are no gender differences when it comes to anger or rage, I believe people demonstrate their anger differently, and when two people both have anger issues in a relationship, that can lead to a tangled web of problems. Therefore I work with couples in providing a specialised therapy programme, joint couple therapy sessions, or therapy for individuals.

I welcome the opportunity to talk to you about how I can help you, either as a couple, or individually....

My approach and views to anger and rage

Anger can gain a foothold in the most loving and caring relationships, and it maybe that you are either the person with the anger problem, or you may be living with someone who is angry.

Anger can erode and damage the intimacy between you both and can shake the very foundation of your relationship, or any relationship that you value, as well as pose a threat to your general well-being and health. When anger comes into a relationship, trust and closeness goes out.

Living with someone who is angry

Someone who lives with an angry partner can feel drained and hopeless, you may find that:

  • You rearrange your life to avoid triggering your partners anger
  • You feel you are to blame for their anger
  • You try and cover up your partners behaviour and explain away the anger
  • You achieve reasoning with your partner to only find that they promise never to do it again, but then it starts all over again.

Its easy to get trapped into your partners anger pattern and way of relating. Yet at the same time you may be sending a message out to your partner that their anger is acceptable as they get what they first set out to achieve.

I can help you become strong, and help you understand the patterns of relating in your relationship, so you can decide how you want to live your life.

I have anger problems

It's really hard when you start to recognise that you are struggling with anger, you are probably feeling confused, and have tried really hard not to keep getting angry, but yet again you find yourself in a similar situation of conflict, or feeling out of control. You may have reached a stage where your relationships are under strain, or worse still your partner is thinking of leaving you, or you may be facing losing your children. It may be that recently you have been in trouble with the authorities because of your feelings. You may behave in the following ways:

  • You have mood swings, and are sulky and quiet for no reason
  • At times you are completely irrational
  • You become irritated by people easily and have a low tolerance to life
  • You feel depressed and withdraw from people
  • Feel numb and a coldness within yourself

Ice Cold Rage
Ice Cold Rage

Or you:

  • Scream and shout constantly
  • You are argumentative
  • Things trigger your anger for no reason
  • You become stressed easily and feel pent up inside
  • You may have road rage
  • You can even hit out at someone, or want to fight

Hot Rage
Hot Rage

After feeling anger like this you may feel remorse and guilty, and possibly that's why you may be reading this, because you've recognised you can't help yourself any more.

I will help you to start to untangle the pattern you are stuck in, when you contact me, we will arrange a face to face meeting so I can understand more of what is happening in your life, and how you want to change.

Ways and methods of managing anger:

There are many different ways to approach anger, and some interventions have benefits such as:

Deep breathing, relaxation, walking or leaving the situation, counting to ten, getting some fresh air'

'Bashing cushions, punching bags, screaming'

All of these will have a temporary effect and no doubt something that you may have already tried I won't encourage you to do any of these. I think it can induce shame and be embarrassing for you.

Beyond Anger Management targets the deep roots of your anger or rage, it is a gentle, respectful and effective approach.

1 - Couples Specialised Programme:

  1. First of all if you are someone who is the victim of physical or other abuse, sometimes known as domestic violence I would urge you to think firstly about your own safety, and of any children or vulnerable people that depend on you.
  2. In the case of Domestic Violence I will carefully consider how I can help you, and assess what stage you are both in, if you contact me as a couple. I will work with you both independently, as well as jointly when the time is right for you both.
  3. I will meet with you both and provide an initial assessment to see how the therapy is to be tailored to your requirements. The programme involves an agreement to working together, which you will both be committed too before the programme commences.

This programme is a structured therapy process, for @ 7 sessions.

2 - Anger and Rage in Relationship Therapy:

  1. For couples, and people in a relationship. I work with couples individually and jointly through the sessions together. This therapy is open ended, which means I will work with you for as long as you require.

3 - Individual Anger and Rage Therapy:

  1. This is therapy for individuals - male or female. It is open ended and I will work with you for as long as you require.

What Happens Next:

You can contact me on the numbers below, or by email. I will respond to you as soon as I can so we can arrange an appointment face to face.

I will provide an initial assessment to make sure we can work together, and that I am the right therapist for you, and the way I provide therapy is the best approach for you.

Important Information for you:

Confidentiality: This applies to all my therapeutic work

I treat all information that you tell me as confidential. However if I believe that you are in danger of harming yourself, or that there is anyone else at risk of harm, or children at risk. I will discuss this with you where ever possible, and decide who I may need to inform external to our relationship in order to protect the person at risk. Or if you tell me anything that may harm anyone, such as a terrorist act, or certain criminal offences I have a legal obligation to inform external agencies without informing you first. My intentions are to always act in the best interest of yourself and others.

I am a member of the BACP and abide by the Code of Conduct and Ethical Framework for Good Practice.

If you haven't read anything that matches your situation, that doesn't mean I can't help you, so please ring me.